Monday, May 08, 2006

Hummer a little tune

I've now been working in Scottsdale five days a week for five months. There are some things I like - it's pretty, it's clean, it's relatively safe. But there are more than a few things I don't like.

One is how easy it is to pick out a Scottsdale woman: blonde fried hair, leathery tan skin, ugly $1,000 purse, chunky unoriginal Tiffany jewelry and usually some sort of lime green tank top or shirt (why lime green? no idea). It is amazing how similar they all are. They are living examples that upper class doesn't mean class.

Another thing I don't like? The drivers. Now, I don't automatically hate someone who drives an Escalade or a Hummer (well, I do have problems with the impact on the environment but that's a different gripe). But, it seems like drivers in Scottsdale are much MUCH quicker to hit the horn when the car ahead of them doesn't see the green light. And this isn't just a "feeling." My office is on the corner of a busy intersection, and I hear honks all day long from impatient drivers. And yes, I myself have been a victim of Hummer Honking.

How can we fix this scourge of spite? A new law: With every superfluous honk, the driver has to pay $5,000 to Humane Borders, the group that provides water to immigrants crossing the desert. After one day, you'll hear crickets.

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