Sunday, April 29, 2007

Grumpy Old Men

Last night I had two run ins with grumpy old men, or GOM. The first occurred at a gelato shop, when a GOM in a fancy grey suit cut in front of hordes of people to order in front of us. He was rebuffed by his fancy old wife. Yet, just seconds later, he tried to cut us in line again at the cashier, and gave us the evil eye as we blocked his maneuver.

The second entanglement occurred at a bridge. This time the GOM was guarding the pathway, like a fairy tale troll, and tried to convince me that the bridge had been closed for two months. Actually he said it like this: "Sweetheart, I work here every night!" And I tried to explain to him that I had crossed the bridge just the previous week. I left in a huff, angry that I didn't have the right password for the ol troll and that he called me "Sweetheart".

Monday, April 09, 2007

Elbow grease

We installed moulding today - which was pretty simple but time-consuming. And I love the way it's turned out! Home repair is fun! And expensive!

Friday, April 06, 2007

Community College non-credit courses

All class titles are real. Descriptions...not so much

AARP Driver Safety Program: Basics in sitting at green lights, leaving the blinker on and achieving that "Fresh from 1961" smell
Crystal Healing Power: See also Make Money Selling Rocks
Makeup: The Tammy Faye Bakker method
Be a Modern Nomad: Will need backpack, compass, trust fund
Who's walking around in your head: Seriously. Who?
Family Violence: Via satellite from cell block D
Get Funny!: Or else
Where does all my money go?: Class fees $475
The magic of hypnosis: See also Filing Your Small Claim
Wow, What a Great Event!: Planning your own funeral


4 Things You will Learn Today

* I just bought the soundtrack to "Romeo and Juliet." No, not the black and white one you watched at McClintock High in Benvenuti's class. The one with Leonardo DiCaprio. The CD sort of takes me back to my junior high days, so very full of angst and wishing I looked like Claire Danes.

* Did I ever tell you I always wanted to be a ballerina? I was the only one of my sisters who didn't get to do it. But I did play soccer, which is how I broke two pairs of identical glasses. In identical ways: hit in the face with a soccer ball. Good bye soccer. Hello band.

* I still have my trumpet. Sometimes I wonder how I could get hired to play at churches and weddings and make thousands. Then I remember that there are some people out there who are actually talented or professionals.

* I just finished "Nickel and Dimed," by an author who spent months in different "American" jobs: waitressing, maid for hire, Wal-Mart associate. It's a little depressing. I think my next book should be more whimsical. Oh yeah, I'm reading "Spook: Science tackles the afterlife." That's pretty whimsical.