Favorite Spaces

Tony bought our house just over a year ago, and since then we have made a lot of changes. This post includes some "before" pics and also some pics of little spaces and things that make me happy at our house.

Gratitude

Usually, Thanksgiving makes me grateful for a couple days off work. And then it makes me regretful for how much I eat.

But this year is a little different. We're facing a few unexpected challenges this fall, and they do have the potential to REALLY bring our spirits down. Luckily, I am married to T, who is especially skilled at calming me and easing my anxieties. He's also willing to make difficult choices and sacrifice for our little family.

So this year I'm especially grateful for him. Maybe I should bake him a pie or something.

Overwhelmed

Cannot relax today. Too many balls in the air. Topics include a new shower, Twitter and a dance competition.

Sleeper hit

T and I signed up for "Shaolin Power Hour" at our kung fu studio. It is a two-week fitness boot camp that lasts for an hour every morning.

It starts at 6:15 a.m., which means we have to drag our sorry butts out of bed at 5:30 (though it's been slipping to 5:40, 5:45). This does not bode well for me. I am historically a mean sleeper.

I have panic attacks about waking up early. And I attack others who wake me up or who prevent me from getting to sleep. I can be extremely grumpy in the morning, and incredibly irrational late at night. I think that means I am neither a night owl or an early bird. I'm a totally different breed of fowl. (A surly bird?)

HOWEVER. After four days of Shaolin Power Hour, I am finding that I have a lot more energy during the day. I still get sleepy around 10 p.m., but I'm not the kung fu zombie I thought I was going to be.

Holidaisical!

Starting to receive travel plans from my three out of state sisters...and getting so so excited for the holidays!

Makes me want to organize the guest room so some little nieces and nephews can sleep over and play rock band with crazy cool Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Tony.

Finally figured it out

For years I've been trying to determine how exactly I fit in among my friends and family.

I have labels for everyone -- the smart one, the emotional one, the easygoing one -- but for a long time I could not figure out which "one" I was.

Today it dawned on me, thanks to the help of a co-worker. It also explains why I have labels for everyone.

I'm the judgmental one.

Spooktacular

Now that we have our own house, we are finally going to fulfill one of my long-term dreams: hosting a giant Halloween party.

I love Halloween. It's pure fun, without the spending and politics of Christmas. (I still love Christmas don't worry!) We put a lot of thought into our Halloween costumes every year. This year the pressure's really on to have a great costume, since we will be the hosts extraordinaire.

The biggest challenge will be to decorate the house in the bestest, most bitchin' Boo-fest ever. I'm already researching ideas for decor, both cute and creepy.

Anyone have any easy or cool ideas? Anyone want to have a craft/decor day on Oct. 24? :)

New shelves!

Sometimes the stars align and T and I have the time and energy to put up new shelves. The result is usually wonderful and I am so very pleased.

Stick of butter...mmmm

This recipe for frosting is SO DELICIOUS. I got it from Sarah B, who got it from Sprinkles Cupcakes. Try not to let the obscene amounts of butter put you off. Totally worth it. I added frozen raspberries to this batch.

Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

1 cup softened butter
3.5 cups confectioners sugar
1/8 tsp salt
1 tsp milk
1 tsp vanilla


Beat butter, sugar, salt until smooth.
Add milk, vanilla and beat 3-5 minutes until creamy.

addiction

I think Diet Coke might be keeping me alive

The Audacious Cook

I don't usually have the patience to cook. I hate things with a million ingredients and hours of chopping. Our dinners usually consist of tortilla + filling + microwave. Anything that takes longer better include the crock pot.

But I kinda have the desire to bake. I like the idea of perfecting some wonderful dish, then making it for special occasions to the delight of all my sophisticated friends. Problem is, I don't have natural talent, and I am going to have to work for it. A recent attempt at cherry turnovers didn't end so great. It tasted OK, but looked pretty wimpy and a little soggy.

I'm tempted to buy the Julia Child book, since all of the NPR interviews with director Nora Ephron have said that taught her how to cook. And I do love things made with butter and cream. I'm not suggesting I try my own version of "Julie and Julia," where I blog my way through it, but I like the idea that maybe I could try some of the recipes and make something delicious.

One thing I have learned was that homemade whipped cream can cover up a lot of worries. And I know how to make that. So that's a start.

Blog on blogging

I know. Bad title.

Just read one of my favorite bloggers, Girl in a Party Hat, and was inspired to write. She wears her heart on her screen, and doesn't seem to fear revealing too much, as I often do.

I don't blog about work - that's a gimme. But I could probably share a little more. I guess I'm torn about publishing that kind of information -- what if no one reads it? Or worse, what if they do?

I'm usually prompted to write when something bad has happened. For instance, this morning I managed to dump a whole pan full of muffin batter onto the hot oven door. I spent 20 minutes mopping up the goop instead of watching them brown into apple cinnamon delights. And was left with no reward; just a cat hoping for a little taste off the floor.

Or like now, when T and I have been stressed out - both for good and bad reasons. But I can't share that. It has more implications than a pan of muffins.

If I was a better cook, I'd share recipes. If I was crafty, I'd share photos of my latest homemade tote bag. If I had kids, I'd share photos. You get the picture.

I guess until I do acquire all of those things, you (and I) are stuck with muffin stories and gripes about free movie screenings. :)

Acceptance

Today I made a huge leap toward full acceptance into the Latino community. Or at least half.

A Hispanic co-worker at the hospital asked me today if my husband is Mexican. I said yes, well, he's half. Then she asked me if I wanted to buy some tamales. I have worked there a year and never been offered the inside track on tamales.

Wonder what sweet Mexican hookup is next...

Movie Magic

I recently took a flight to Los Angeles from Phoenix. These flights really should be easy. They last about an hour and they leave something like every 15 minutes. Yet every time I fly, thanks to heightened regulation, security and the removal of one's shoes, I can't help but repeat to myself this phrase, "Ah, the indignity of flight."

Well, that's nothing compared to the indignity of seeing a free movie.

My friends scored free tickets to see "Julie and Julia," the latest Meryl Streep flisk, dedicated to Julia Child. Thinking it would only appeal to a certain audience, I was unprepared for the huge crowd lined up at Arizona Mills, our sorta ghetto outlet mall. But I guess people will pretty much see anything for free.

The Harkins folks did their best to control the crowd, which was way bigger than the capacity of the theater. We three managed to slip into the last wave of people, high-fiving all the way down the hall. Until we got to the second line.

This line featured three security guards and a man yelling at people to "limit your ins and outs." In other words, don't plan to save your seat and then go to the bathroom. This line was dedicated to searching purses for cell phones or recording devices. Now, that is perfectly fair. It was a sneak preview. But they waited until people had been waiting for an hour before telling them they could not bring a cell phone.

And if they didn't happen to find your cell phone in your very messy purse (which, luckily happened for me), the security guards then used a wand to screen your body for hidden devices.

I totally understand the desire to keep out the riff raff. But the demeanor of these guards and the great lengths they achieved to anger their viewers made the experience a little less than magical.

It was supposed to be fun! Sneak preview of a cutesy movie about cooking and blogging! But instead of eagerly talking and reviewing the movie, all we could talk about was feeling like we had just visited a prison. My friend Catharyn was kicked out of line at one point because they discovered her old cell phone -- which did not have video capability, mind you -- and told her to put it in her car. Instead, she put her phone back in her wallet and got back in line. Made it seem like the security was all for show.

Bottom line, I don't think I'll be returning to Arizona Mills any time soon. And I am extremely disappointed in the Harkins brand, a local treasure here. Bon Appetit!

Lindsay, Unplugged

T and I went up to the woods last weekend. It wasn't easy. And it wasn't pretty. But it was incredible.

Lately our schedules have been so packed that we can't find time to think. So even though we had to miss three (count 'em) different parties to hit the road, it was a critical move.

Lately I have become way too connected -- Facebook, Twitter, my Blackberry -- and I check them constantly. It's almost become a tic. It had to stop.

So Saturday morning we set out to the Blue Ridge Reservoir, which has a very nice camping area overlooking a canyon/reservoir.

I optimistically did not bring any kind of mattress, so we got horrible sleep. But we got some great rest. We sat in the shade and read books, enjoying the quiet and the 70-degree weather.

I'm hoping as the summer wears on, and 115 degree heat sets in, that we will get even better at dropping everything and leaving town.

Facebook will still be there when we get back.

Summer Doldrums

I think I have officially hit my first summer doldrums. This starts when the AC in the car can no longer compete with the outside heat, and you will do anything in your power to avoid driving somewhere.

Usually my remedy for this problem is to escape the Valley of the Sun and head north. Definitely itching to go this weekend. Not sure we can.

The break would also be nice just to clear my head. I feel like I've been running on all engines since we got back from the honeymoon. Never got a chance to recover from the wedding/honeymoon chaos!

Still haven't sent out any thank you notes. Still haven't put away the gifts stacked in our living room. Maybe I could kill two birds and write some thank you notes in the mountains? Hmmmm.

26 at 26

Today is my birthday. I'm 26. Last year Arizona revealed its new quarters. This year they're just raising gas prices.

26 things that have happened since last year

26. I got married less than a month ago. I love it.
25. I started learning Shaolin kung fu and now I am a green belt. I will be a brown belt in less than two months.
24. I moved into a real live house with a fireplace, vaulted ceilings and laundry nook.
23. I am considering going to grad school. For real this time.
22. For the first time, I voted for a winning president.
21. I got a passport and took a cruise. It was fun. Still have never traveled across an ocean or continent.
20. I decided I really don't want a dog.
19. I am really enjoying my group of friends and have added a few new ones.
18. I think about babies a lot, but only in the abstract. Real thinking is a couple years away.
17. Birthdays don't really faze me too much. 30 still seems far away, but I am happy with who I am at all ages, so I'm not too worried about it.
16. I really love living in Arizona but would consider California if T pursues a career in show biz writing.
15. I am learning to love people more and judge them less. (Emphasis on learning - as in not perfect.)
14. I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love that came from the woodwork at our wedding. It has taught me to be more community-oriented and rethink how I treat others during special/important times.
13. I still haven't learned to sew on my Hello Kitty sewing machine.
12. I didn't get to run a marathon. Turns out my feet completely give out after 15 miles. It would still be nice to do someday.
11. I'd like to do more camping. T and I have tried a couple times with disastrous results.
10. I'm not sure I want any pets, which will probably come as bad news to my cats.
9. My first choice of foreign country to visit would still be Italy, though we may end up going to China first (not a bad thing!).
8. I don't really watch TV anymore, aside from a couple shows we Tivo and then never watch.
7. I have a new baby niece who I adore.
6. I can do 40 pushups. Real ones.
5. I am considering laser eye surgery. It would be nice to say goodbye to glasses, which I've had since 4th grade.
4. I enjoy cooking and baking more than I ever have before. Possibly connected to all the new toys we got for the wedding.
3. I wish my sisters all lived here.
2. I'm glad my parents live here.
1. I'm very thankful for my health, my husband, my family and my friends.

Filling the Void

Apparently I am replacing wedding stress with....just about everything else. Stupid stuff. Shower curtains.

Do I really miss the planning and stressing that bad, that I'm replacing it with anxiety over which night stand table to buy?

I always thought this post-wedding depression came from girls who miss being in the spotlight. I guess I miss being in the headlights.

Hopefully I will replace this fake stress with real stress (school perhaps?) so I can stop worrying about the fact that I have nothing good to worry about.

Oh it's SIR-rat-cha

The New York Times has published a very interesting story discussing the origins of Sriracha, the red sauce people know by many different names (my friend calls it Death Sauce).

Very informative and kinda funny story about a sauce we discovered at Pita Jungle, but have seen in several different places since. The article mentions that big-name restaurants are now incorporating it into their sauces.

Read about it here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/20/dining/20united.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&ref=style

Home Alone

I am so rarely alone that it's hard to know what to do with myself.

T is at the Flight of the Conchords concert. Cam only had one ticket, and I figured he would enjoy it immensely. But that lives me at home alone with no car and suddenly all the chores I need to do (thank you notes, dishes) or exercising I could do seem very unappetizing.

Between T and sharing an office at work, the only time I am alone is in the car, and I usually like to be on the phone or have the radio blasting.

It leaves me wondering if I'm shallow or just uninteresting on my own. I already watched a movie and posted on FB. Now I'm tempted to shower and put on my jams, and it's not even 10 pm!

I feel like I should be doing some deep thinking or introspection. Instead I'm bored. And writing boring blog posts. Lucky you!

Back to business

Back at work. It's not all bad, actually. I've been struggling to have a semblance of a normal life, and work really helps me get back in the motions. And it really helps that I'm not having to plan my wedding in between meetings!

It is always hard to come back from vacation. It's like trying to ice skate when you haven't done it for five years. Little sloppy. Can't remember all your moves.

Wedding, in short, was amazing. Longer post on learning your lessons and acknowledging life events still to come.

No caffeine required but I had some anyway

I am a ball of nervous energy. I could barely sleep. I've already worked out, read the paper, done some banking and now blogged.

I'm not really worried, per se. There is a lot to remember to do (hit my parents' house, the bank, the mall, get some sun, pick up the cakes, rehearsal, family dinner sleepover) but I'm sure it will all get done.

Can't believe it's here.

My last Friday

Today is my last Friday as a single gal. By the end of next Friday, I will be married.

Feeling OK. Really excited to see my sisters (honestly one of the biggest perks of this whole thing is that we will have a few days together).

The moment I am anticipating most is the first dance. Not sure why, but I keep picturing that as The Moment.

Should be fun. Can't believe it's already here. The last seven months feel like they flew by, and yet I've aged five years in the meantime.

Excited for it to come. Excited for it to go. :)

You're fired!

I fired my doctor today after the last in a long string of rudeness and poor care. I also wrote a scathing review on Angie's List, which is now posting info on doctors.

Honestly, what doctor's office answers the phone with a simple, "Hello" ? I thought I had the wrong number. And that's just the beginning.

The problem is that I now need a new doctor! Hoping a referral from a friend works out.

Sure the recession's no biggie, but this?

So at first I thought having a wedding during a recession was one of the most extreme cases of bad timing.

Now there's a pandemic.

Maybe we should just elope and send everyone the pics. Either that or hold it in an isolation room. Maybe the flower girls could pass out gas masks!

Three weeks and counting

Wow. What an overwhelmingly wonderful couple weeks I have had. Two showers, both amazing in their own right. Everyone has been so generous and thoughtful. It truly makes me question whether I am showing enough support and love to those around me when they have special times.

Until now I have been fairly calm, but I can tell a storm is brewing. Things I have put off will come due and I expect the stress to build exponentially.

The one thing keeping me sane is the thought of being on a cruise ship with no Blackberry access and nothing more to glue, order, taste, nag or forget.

In the meantime, my mantra will be this: "I will not freak out. I will not freak out. I will not freak out."

and then everybody totally wigged

So the aforementioned wig party went off like Uncle Jim's toupee.

All the friends got way into it, and everyone brought a wig or chose from the collection of 7 I had on display.

Seriously had no idea everyone would support this theme! I always thought my little wig hobby was weird at best.

But Wig Party II is already in the works. I would highly recommend this as a very cheap theme party.

Oh, and I went with some super fun hair-themed items to serve: bell peppers stuffed with angel hair pasta, braided bread sticks and beehive hair do cupcakes.

How to throw a wig party

So I'm having a wig party tomorrow night. Everyone must have a wig to get through the door. Then we'll play rock band. I am looking for some suggestions on what to serve. Powdered wig donuts?

Meanwhile, I happened across this tip sheet on howtodothings.com:

How to throw a wig party

• Determine how you will include the wigs. You must begin thinking about how you are going to incorporate the wigs into your party or activity early in the event planning stage. Ask yourself the following questions:
  
  Will I provide the wigs or will I ask guests to bring their own?
  Will I offer any prizes or awards for the best wig worn at the wig party?
  


• Let people know wigs are a must. Make it extremely clear in your invitations that wigs are mandatory at your wig party. Nothing kills the vibe at a wig party like anything less than 100% wig wearing participation.
  


• Organize your party or event just like you would any other normal event. The beauty of the wig party is that it is so simple but it adds a lot of fun and it tends to take a normal party to another level of fun.
  


• Stir up some excitement. A few days before the wig party, email or share some good photos of either yourself the host in a great wig or some other good photo of people in wigs to get the excitement brewing.
  


• Throw the wig party. Be sure to answer the door as the host wearing your wig and keep your wig on at all times during the event. A host's commitment to the wig theme is crucial in building and sustaining the level of fun that is possible during a wig party.

countdown

coming up on 2 months to go until the big day.
still need a harpist.
sending in the order for the invitations tonight.
would still like to lose 20 pounds (not going to happen)
but may settle for about 7 (hopefully will happen).

need to meet with judge, dj and wedding coordinator.
looking for a nice pair of pearl earrings.

happy.
excited.

25 at 25

1. I paint my toenails to look "salon-quality" using stickers from CVS.

2. I have run three half marathons. Slowly. I stopped running due to blisters. Now I do kung fu.

3. I'm not very touchy-feely. This I blame on my parents, who I am suspecting grouped me with baby brother Dally and raised us as one boy...

4. ....yet I own a fairly extensive doll and wig collection.

5. I will marry the love of my life in May. He gets me to the core. I want to be better when I'm with him. And no one makes me laugh harder.

6. I developed a strong fear of guns after taking a Social Psychology class (where I heard the statistic about being more likely to shoot yourself or your family).

7. When I was little I wanted to be a cowgirl. I'm still secretly a little country and I love rodeos.

8. I will get my first passport next month. The farthest I've gone abroad is Rocky Point. My first country of choice would be Italy.

9. I love to read Martha Stewart Living, though the recipes are too complicated and my motor skills too unrefined to do the crafts.

10. I rode a horse in a parade a couple years ago. However, I was in the wrong spot because the horse would not leave his friends.

11. I talk in my sleep. The weirdest thing I remember saying is that there was a zucchini jamming my bedroom door.

12. I often am told I look like Drew Barrymore.

13. I lived in Florida for three months. A hurricane hit my city while I was there. Nothing really happened.

14. I played All State trumpet in high school. I was also a drum major.

15. My cousin Brooke died when she was 9 after a lifelong battle with cancer. I was 8. She was my best friend.

16. When I was little, I had straight blonde hair and brown eyes. I now have naturally dark curly hair and green eyes.

17. I deeply admire my four older sisters, who are all very different.

18. I adore and feel very protective of baby brother Dally.

19. My favorite songs are very sad and usually about heartbreak.

20. I am a trivia fanatic. Tony and I often win trivia games.

21. I have fairly straight teeth and fairly horrible eyesight.

22. I studied journalism in college. Three years after I graduated I left journalism.

23. I have a fear of heights but have no problem with planes. I once rode in a helicopter with no qualms. But I would not want to go in a hot air balloon.

24. I have interviewed Bill O'Reilly, Kathy Lee Gifford and the trainer of Whiplash the Monkey Who Rides a Dog.

25. I was once an international hostage when a group of angry shrimp fisherman blockaded the only road out of Mexico.

Wedding Preview

So these are some samples of what I am planning for TBD (The Big Day).

First picture is the actual location of the ceremony, which will be outdoors and feature some kind of live musician. Haven't decided on harpist or guitarist.

Second picture is a sample of the bouquet. Mine will have purple and green instead of those colors, and feature roses and orchids.

Third pic is a flower girl dress to be worn by my nieces. Their dresses will be sage green with ivory colored sashes.

And the last pic is an image from Tammie Coe Cakes. I haven't decided on the precise design - I can also opt for polka dots if a I want - but I'll probably do something with purple and white.

Less than three months away! Getting very very excited!

Bad Biscuit, Marathon Spellcheck and other things

This morning, out of pure laziness, I ate a sausage biscuit that looked like it had been under the warmer for way too long. I didn't really want to eat it, but the deli is four floors away, so I took my chances. I'm assuming I will regret it.

Not many know this, but I share an office with a coworker and a string of octogenarian volunteers. There is a different person every morning and afternoon. They come in to use the computer. Most of the time they are barely noticeable, and one of them even brought me fruitcake. But every once in a while, I get called upon to serve as IT support. Most of the time, the problem is that they accidentally opened Excel and they don't know what to do, or they clicked off the document and can't understand what happened.

But today it got a little irritating. A very nice and wrinkled lady - skin like a leather handbag thanks to lots of tanning I assume - had me sit with her to go through every single spell check finding. There were many extra spaces and misspellings such as "terrior."

Maybe it was the sausage biscuit. But it was getting on my nerves a bit. Luckily she has gone to tool about.

On a lighter note, a friend of mine is lending me a tiara/headband for my wedding and it's sitting right here at my desk. Very pretty with pearls and silver leaves. Thanks much to Jenna for her generous loan. It will go so very well with another loan, a lovely pearl necklace worn by Beckbot at her own wedding, the first in our family. I still remember going with her and Evan to help take pictures (I was probably 12) and feeling very special.

It happened

Well I caved. T has been on my case for months trying to get me to go to Kung Fu with him. And since I had a messy breakup with Running, I finally decided to give it a try.

What's worse? I love it. Which means I'll probably shell out money every month to keep going. Because not only is it a great workout, I feel like I'm learning practical self defense skills, which any modern gal like myself should know.

I'm hoping I will be in fightin' shape come May 8. Especially if a gang of thugs crashes the wedding.

(T, after seeing my post: "Wouldn't it be awesome if they did?!?!")

2009: A Year of Miracles

You look tired. Are you tired?

No. No I'm not. But thanks.

Easy Eggnog Cheesecake

I made this cheesecake for a work party this weekend. It was a huge risk, given that I've never made the recipe or even a cheesecake for that matter! BUT it was a huge hit and I've had people asking me for the recipe! And I'm only a little proud of how popular it was. :)

Easy Eggnog Cheesecake

CRUST
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
2 tablespoons white sugar
3 tablespoons melted butter
Dashes each of cinnamon and nutmeg

CHEESECAKE

3 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup white sugar
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 and 3/4 cup eggnog
2 eggs
2 tablespoons rum or vanilla extract
1 pinch ground nutmeg

TOPPING
2 cups whipping cream
1/2 cup powdered sugar
Dash of cinnamon

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
In a medium bowl combine graham cracker crumbs, 2 tablespoons sugar and butter, cinnamon and nutmeg to taste. Press into the bottom of a 9 inch spring form pan. (Cover bottom of pan with foil for easy removal later.)
Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes. Place on a wire rack to cool.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
In a food processor combine cream cheese (softened in the microwave), 1 cup sugar, flour and eggnog; process until smooth. Blend in eggs, rum/vanilla and nutmeg. Pour mixture into cooled crust.
Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes.
Reduce heat to 250 and bake for 45 minutes, or until center of cake is barely firm to the touch. Remove from the oven and immediately loosen cake from rim. Let cake cool completely before removing the rim.

Whip cream with powdered sugar in blender or mixer until peaks form. Spread generously on top.

Chill for 1-2 hours.

Serves 16.

My big break

So I've finally launched my modeling career. Yes, it's late, but through hard work I'm finally a cover girl.

Or maybe my friend writes for a news magazine and asked me to do their cover as a favor.

But what a fun favor!

I got all dressed up while my friend did my makeup, then we headed over to the 99 Cent Store, who graciously let us roll around their aisles throwing coupons around. The cadre of ogling onlookers was a bonus.

So check out The Times publication next month to see the final copy of yours truly. I'm sure my phone will be ringing off the hook!

Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?

I love Christmas. I really do. The music, the treats, the family traditions. All bring joy to my soul.

So imagine my disappointment this weekend when I went to buy Christmas decorations for J Place, Tony's new house that will become ours in May.

My priorities were pretty simple going in: I was looking for garland and lights to hang outside; a tree and centerpiece for inside. I didn't think I would be looking for something more.

But as I looked at the displays in Target, Wal-Mart and Michaels, I noticed that anything resembling Jesus or the nativity is a little hard to come by. Sometimes they are even banished to one seemingly "Christian Corner" out of all the rows and rows of items. Instead, you can choose from fancy Santa, cute Santa, toy Santa, NASCAR Santa and any number of snowmen, reindeer and elves.

The worst was the row that offered Christmas decorations in hot pink and neon green.

I was surprised at my own revulsion. I happen to own a little white tree with pink lights. I buy into the commercialism every year it seems.

But this year was different. Maybe I was just looking for something unique. I hope it is because for the first time I am decorating MY HOUSE, the future site of a 2-person family with hopes for more. And I want Christmas to be about Christ. About joy. About the brave Mary and her loyal husband. About the grand sacrifice for mankind.

I want my home to feel warm and loving all the time, not only during Christmas. But you'd think it would be a little easier to create a Christian environment during such a holiday.

My first wedding gift

This 8-piece Serva-Snack came from my Nana Payne. She said she received it when she first got married but never really used it. I think that makes it 50 or 60 years old.

Inside are glass cups and dishes just right to Serva Snack to your friends. I love it for its 50s authenticity. And that it came from Nana.

She's 92 years old and frequently has falls or little trips to the emergency room. I'm honestly not sure she will be around for my wedding, but I really hope so. She is an anchor to a family of hundreds, with three generations proudly bearing her name. She is sweet and tough as nails, ready to give a word of encouragement or an honest assessment.

I feel honored that she would give me such a personal gift. I hope it will serve to remind me to be hospitable, generous and lighthearted like my Nana.

Yes We Can

yes we can.

Third favorite holiday of the year!

OK so maybe every two years.

I just couldn't contain my excitement to vote today. Even when I showed up and the line was down the street. I really think Election Day should be a holiday. I almost didn't have a chance to go this morning, and I could have been stuck going tonight and waiting in an even longer line!

But why don't we have the day off? Would too many people go boating instead of voting? Maybe we could save it for national election years.

I think more people would vote. And then I would also have more people coming to my Election Party!

Fiber is #1!

I met with a nutritionist this week, and it was very enlightening. Most of it was not new info (take half your meal to go, portion your meat to the size of a playing card), but it WAS nice to have the official word on food.

I am easily swayed by the advice from the last article I read, be it "focus on protein" or "carbs are OK," or "it's totally cool to eat Zebra Cakes for breakfast and lunch."

I took two major messages away from our meeting (and several minor ones): 1. Eat little snacks between meals. 2. Focus on being fiber-iffic!

Already the little meals are helping a lot. I'm not nearly as famished by dinner when I've had an apple or something at 4 pm.

And as for fiber, I was sadly uninformed about where it's found. Apparently it is in ALL fruits and vegetables! Wow! So I was given carte blanche for all fruits and veggies. I can go crazy with it.

So if you want some free second-hand nutrition advice, eat 2 snacks a day, and add veggies, fruits, beans and whole wheat to your menu.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

We saw David Sedaris at Gammage last night, and it was wonderful! He is one of my favorite writers and so very hilarious. This was the second time we've seen him, and both times were fantastic.

Adding to the enjoyment was something I didn't expect: The sign language interpreter. (Aside: Why would a deaf person attend a book reading? Much of the humor comes from the author's vocal nuances. Oh well)

The interpreters stood to Sedaris' left onstage and did a phenomenal job of keeping up with his fast-paced stories.

The best interpretations:

"Throwing up gang signs," where the interpreter promptly put her hands up in front of her chest with index and pinkie fingers at attention.

"Slave monkey," where the interpeter curls her arms under her armpits in classic monkey fashion.

"Human feces," which is some kind of gyrating stomach movement.

Anyway, good times had by all. Oh, and he shared the joke listed in the title, in addition to "A baby seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks, 'What'll it be?' Seal says, 'Anything but a Canadian Club.'"

An open letter

I stole this idea from my shore. I was feeling a little sentimental tonight, so I thought I would partake.

Dear Colin Powell: Thank you. Your wisdom and courage has inspired me and given me hope for my future.

Dear Stress about the wedding: Can you please wait? How bout just a month or two? do I really need to decide everything now?

Dear Worries about my weight: I know you're important. I want to address you. And I'm going to try. But in the meantime, maybe you could just take a break.

Dear Tony: I love you more every day. I'm so lucky. None of this would be worth it without you.

Dear Starbucks: Thanks for making a little treat for me when I need one. I can't wait to try your salty caramel hot chocolate.

Dear Halloween: I love you! You're so fun!

The BIG News!

Collect your bets! Tony and I are tying the knot!

Last night, Tony invited me to come by his (well, almost his) new house in Mesa. There, he was waiting with a table and a vase of flowers. On our ninth anniversary as a couple, Tony proposed to me -- and I said YES! Then we had to leave because technically we were trespassing.

Stay tuned for more details on a May wedding.

The worst 'healthy' foods

I really appreciated this blog by David Zincenko and Matt Goulding, authors of Eat This, Not That.

It talks about supposedly healthy foods that are lined with corn syrup or full of fat. Like granola bars -- held together by high-fructose corn syrup. Or bagels -- up to 700 calories if you get the schmear (and I always get the schmear!).

I really appreciate blogs like these. I get totally suckered into thinking, "oh it can't be that bad," and basically ignoring the facts or calorie counts.

However, I almost always come across blogs like these at the wrong time -- like how I just bought a huge box of granola bars. :)

Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood?

You meet a lot of interesting people when you run at 6 am on Sunday mornings:

Shopping cart guy

Pretty harmless. Usually has a destination. Still, avoided by me when possible.

Punk rock guy

This is one that threw me for a loop. I saw two separate guys dressed all in black, smoking and walking down the street at 6:30 a.m. Was he up all night? Is this when he does his best thinking? Is he trying to get his cholesterol down?

Bikers

Very flashy outfits. Extremely muscular legs. Usually good about warning you before they run you over.

Other runners

Pretty friendly. Generally running faster than me. But hey, they're out there. And so am I.

Borrrrrring!

Have you ever been so bored you actually get tired because of it? It's so sad to go to bed at the end of a day feeling like you didn't deserve the rest.

PS don't you love Google image search? Fun time-filler: Google words that should not have an associated image (divorce, humiliated, or yay!) and see what pops up.

Happiest Race on Earth

Yesterday my good friend Catharyn and I ran the Disneyland Half Marathon in Anaheim. It was wonderful! The path took us through the actual park, where we were greeted by Pinocchio, Buzz Lightyear, Belle and the Beast, Alice and the Mad Hatter and many more.

The medals are awesome, too. Golden Disney castles. I plan on wearing mine for the next month.

The only disappointment was the time. I finished my last half marathon, PF Chang's, in 2:25 (two hours 25 minutes). This one was 2:47, due to the several times we actually had to come to a dead stop during the race because the running path was too narrow and we had to wait to get through.

But aside from that small setback, we had a great time and I would definitely do it again!

So what, did they use real moles?

Last Saturday I ran 9 miles in anticipation of the Disneyland half marathon on Aug. 31. I've spent the past two days nursing three blisters and two sore shoulders.

Today I bought insoles, moleskin and $25 socks. These accessories are in addition to the $80 shoes, $100 GPS tracker and $249 iPod.

I can't help but wonder...why do I NEED all of this crap? And I really do need it, unfortunately. My feet blister at the very mention of cotton socks. And I can't go 5 minutes if I don't have some overly peppy song blasting.

But the cavemen didn't need Adidas or moleskin to chase sabre tooth tigers and wooly mammoths. All they needed was an empty stomach and a spear.

I would have made a terrible cavewoman. I would have been forced to be a vegetarian, because carrots don't run that fast.

Halloween spirit

This week I walked in Michael's to see they had put out all of their Halloween decorations. Fall-colored leaves, pumpkins and spooky characters were on display. It made me so cheerful, because I love Halloween! Of course, it's the beginning of August so it seems a little premature, but it made me want to decorate and start planning my costume.

Tony and I have pulled together some pretty sweet duos in the past, but sometimes it can be hard to come up with an interesting couple costume. Any ideas out there?

Ricky and Lucy Ricardo





Poison Ivy and Two Face











Illegal Immigrant and Border Patrol Agent

The Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie

This recipe was compiled by a New York Times Writer after interviewing several top chefs. Turns out, the secret recipe is letting the dough sit for 24-36 hours. Maybe that's why store bought dough is always SOOO delicious.

Time: 45 minutes (for 1 6-cookie batch), plus at least 24 hours’ chilling

2 cups minus 2 tablespoons (8 1/2 ounces) cake flour
1 2/3 cups (8 1/2 ounces) bread flour
1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse salt
2 1/2 sticks (1 1/4 cups) unsalted butter
1 1/4 cups (10 ounces) light brown sugar
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons (8 ounces) granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons natural vanilla extract
1 1/4 pounds bittersweet chocolate disks or fèves, at least 60 percent cacao content (see note)
Sea salt.

1. Sift flours, baking soda, baking powder and salt into a bowl. Set aside.
2. Using a mixer fitted with paddle attachment, cream butter and sugars together until very light, about 5 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Stir in the vanilla. Reduce speed to low, add dry ingredients and mix until just combined, 5 to 10 seconds. Drop chocolate pieces in and incorporate them without breaking them. Press plastic wrap against dough and refrigerate for 24 to 36 hours. Dough may be used in batches, and can be refrigerated for up to 72 hours.
3. When ready to bake, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a nonstick baking mat. Set aside.
4. Scoop 6 3 1/2-ounce mounds of dough (the size of generous golf balls) onto baking sheet, making sure to turn horizontally any chocolate pieces that are poking up; it will make for a more attractive cookie. Sprinkle lightly with sea salt and bake until golden brown but still soft, 18 to 20 minutes. Transfer sheet to a wire rack for 10 minutes, then slip cookies onto another rack to cool a bit more. Repeat with remaining dough, or reserve dough, refrigerated, for baking remaining batches the next day. Eat warm, with a big napkin.

Yield: 1 1/2 dozen 5-inch cookies.

Note: Disks are sold at Jacques Torres Chocolate; Valrhona fèves, oval-shaped chocolate pieces, are at Whole Foods.

Scrub

I observed my first surgery today!

It was very cool. Got to see the appendix, liver, uterus and ovaries thanks to a laproscopic camera. It was pretty short, but I was very impressed with the stuff I did get to see, which was all broadcast on a screen.

I just kept saying "Wow" under my breath.

Technology!

Victoria's Secret shame

Look, I am the last person to criticize how someone looks at the gym. That would be due to my usual getup: 80s scrunchie, high school band Tshirt, Wal-didas pants and sweaty, lobster-red face.

But there is a certain look I just can't stand. And this one goes to all the ladies. It begins with the hair. Leaving your hair down, perfectly placed? That means you're probably going level 1 on the elliptical. For 18 minutes. Just enough to avoid breathing hard. Then comes the jewelry. Big hoop earrings? Hope they don't get stuck in your luxurious hair.

The rest has to do with the outfit. Victoria's Secret tank top with matching "exercise" pants? Or the halter top sports bra? Listen, folks. This is Pure Fitness, one of the cheapest gyms in the Valley of the Sun. The only thing you're going to attract is some sweaty riff raff. And this is some of the riffiest raff you've ever seen. This is not LA Fitness, or even the gym at Arizona State. Put on a freakin T-shirt! Please! Show off your Bud Lite abs at Martini Ranch, why don't cha?

I'm not saying everyone should look like me. I probably shouldn't even look like me. But if you aren't there to run until you're coughing, you don't even deserve to beep your card at the door.

The quarter life crisis

Well, it happened. I turned 25 on Monday. Quarter of a century. The Arizona quarter was released on my birthday. How appropo.

I've had two parties - both were raging successes. And, as usual, everyone was way too generous with the gifts and just made it an absolute blast. I am truly blessed to have such friends and family as this.

As usual on my birthday, I like to reflect on the past year and what I've accomplished. Or not. I was looking at what I posted last year, which was a list of things I wanted to do. Of all the things - getting closer to being debt free, publish three freelance articles, win an award, get a passport, run another half marathon - I only did one or two.

Since this time last year:
- Visited Boston and Washington, DC for the first time
- ran my second half marathon
- quit my job and got a better one
- remodeled my bathroom
- did NOT publish three freelance articles, win a journalism award or get a passport. I guess the new job will help me get debt-free, so that counts.

By next year, I want to:
- remodel my kitchen
- run a full marathon
- get a passport and make plans for international travel
- get involved in charity work
- take a web design class
- hire a Spanish tutor

Anyone else have some good life goal ideas? I'm taking suggestions.

Summer 2008 superlatives

Lindsay's best ____ of the summer:

song: "A-punk" by Vampire Weekend
blockbuster movie: "The Dark Knight"
non-blockbuster movie: "Sex and the City"
book: "Bonk" by Mary Roach
food: bacon-wrapped hotdog
drink: cantaloupe juice
activity: lounging by friend's pool
hangout: Cheeburger Cheeburger for the chocolate malt
phrase: "It happened!" (to be used when the inevitable occurs, such as getting paint on your new tile shower)
vacation spot: local hotels offering sizzling deals for AZ residents
reunion spot: Austin, TX

worst summer experience so far: pool at Fernwood Manor found CHAINED with a padlock at 10:30 p.m. first swim of the summer ruined! lame, Fernwood. LAME.

The moment of triumph!

My bathroom is finally done! It went from fiberglass countertop and bathtub held together by stains to tile and walk-in shower. In short, I feel very fancy. Next stop: kitchen. Here come the cabinets.

See below for the bathroom transformation from when I moved in September '06:

Food at the Tempe Marketplace

While some might say Tempe Marketplace is just another power center, I can't help but find myself hanging out there almost once a week. Usually for dinner or happy hour. If you haven't been there, here's a few highlights:

Maria Maria: Carlos Santana's restaurant has a lot going for it, but one of the top qualities is the atmosphere. The patio is big, the music is live on the weekends and the crowds tell you it's a pretty popular place right now. The food is also good, but not really the reason you go.

Cheeburger Cheeburger: Any place that has 80 different kinds of shakes or malts has my vote. I recommend the chocolate malt or the birthday cake shake. The burgers are also pretty tasty, with nearly limitless toppings.

Kabuki: If you're not a sushi purist, but enjoy rolls and cheap happy hour appetizers, this place is for you. A good place to introduce someone to sushi.

Other assorted chains: Chipotle, California Pizza Kitchen, Paradise Bakery, Cold Stone Creamery, etc.

new tastes!

Today I tasted cantaloupe juice and a bacon-wrapped hotdog.

Cantaloupe juice was cold and sweet. I'm in love.

Bacon-wrapped hotdog? Kind of a disappointment. But I think if I were running the grill it could be improved.

Had both of these during a trip to Rocky Point, which was fabulous. Got a nice toasty tan, spent some time with the gals and haggled to get some Coach-knockoff sunglasss down from $12 to $9.

That's what I call a successful vacation!

PB, J, and C

Here's an idea for a snack that is both cute and delicious.

Peanut butter and jelly crackers. I prefer wheat thins, creamy peanut butter and strawberry preserves.

The benefit? no bread crust

A Bathroom Obsessed

I am having my bathroom redone this month. The look I'm going for is on the top. But given the fact that my bathroom is the size of a postage stamp (see bottom pic), it will have to be a little abbreviated.

I am extremely excited about the remodel, however I am really bad at making these kinds of decisions. I'm wracked by the numerous options in tile, glass, cabinets. I just want to give someone an idea and let them make it wonderful.

Are there people you can hire who already know what you want?

got tagged!

OK this was a little more personal than I planned, but oh well...

10 Years Ago...
I was finishing my freshman year in high school

5 Things on my To-Do list today...
* find out what breakfast cookies are
* work on a memoir for my business, Your Legacy in Print
* make pizzas with Tony
* watch the Suns

Snacks I enjoy...
• Wheat thins
• peanut butter MMs
• cheese with said wheat thins
• almonds

Things I would do if I were suddenly a billionaire...
* buy a house
* fix car
* new wardrobe
* TRAVEL: italy first, then france, England, japan, brazil

3 of my bad habits...
* Bossing people around
* eating too much, exercising too little
* swearing

Jobs I've had...
• ABCO grocery store associate
• Dancing monkey at Zoolights
• Take-away girl at Outback Steakhouse
• Tour guide at Zoo
• News reporter


5 Things people don't know about me...
* I love karaoke
* I want to get married
* I wish I were thinner
* Driving my car makes me feel sassy
* I would do my job for free if it were possible

DUH

Breaking news from New York Times story about texting:

"Children increasingly rely on personal technological devices like cellphones to define themselves and create social circles apart from their families, changing the way they communicate with their parents."

New York Times: Reporting news from the 90s for your busy schedule

blast ye tiny peddlers of sweets!

Ahhh.....Girl Scout cookies. So good. Yet so short-lived.

The question: Would they be as good if they were available year-round? Methinks not. It makes them more valuable and delicious.

My problem is choosing between my two favorites - Tagalongs (chocolate and peanut butter) and of course Thin Mints. So I don't actually choose. I just hand over 8 bucks to some sports writer's adorable 8-year-old daughter.

What are your picks for the best Girl Scout cookies?

I'm all, like, cultured and junk

Last night Loc took me to see the Phoenix Symphony. Loved it! The music was amazing. I'd forgotten how much of a difference a live performance can make.

This is another in our series of seeing live shows: We saw a taping of Wait, Wait, went to a discussion with actress Cloris Leachman, and, well, saw The Shins a while back, but that was more of a rock concert.

I would still like to see Ballet Arizona, another opera, a play and a jazz orchestra.

Wait Wait......WAIT!

Thursday we got to attend a taping of Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me! The NPR News Quiz. It was awesome! I got to meet the host, Peter Sagal, who incidentally looks exactly like his voice sounds, if that's possible. We also got to learn some of the secrets of the show:
- The callers leave a message at NPR. They are chosen by wit and conversation skills. Then they are told to wait by the phone Thursday nights, when the show tapes.
- To get Karl Kassell's voice on your home answering machine, winners write out the message they want, he records it and a CD is sent to your home.
- After the taping, they retape certain parts that didn't go well or got flubbed.

Overall it was freakin awesome! Listen on Saturday to see how much AZ Governor Janet Napolitano knows about college basketball coach Bobby Knight.

The future of the Suns?

I hope he has some kind of magic power to stay off the injured list.

one thing I HATE SO MUCH

Tonight I ran into someone I see from time to time. Someone I met in high school. We worked at the zoo together. We went to a Blink 182 concert together. He criticized me for driving my mom's van too fast. I have seen him at other events. So in other words, he's an acquaintance, right?

Well apparently that's wrong. He had no idea who I was. Didn't know my name, barely showed recognition that we'd met before.

And it kills me. Because, you see, this is something that happens ALL THE TIME. People I have met before completely forgetting me. Tell me the truth - is it my face? Do I just have a forgettable face?

Ruined my night. I could barely enjoy my overpriced tiramisu.

can i get a witness?

This morning I was cleaning out the litter box when I heard a knock on my door. I never get knocks on my door! I checked the peep hole and opened the door - but left the chain on. I was still in my pajamas after all!

And who was at the door? Some Jehovah's Witnesses. Two ladies who wanted to give me literature. They didn't want to come in from what I could tell, and I didn't invite them (pajama factor).

But I felt like it was a big step as a homeowner.

an oldie but a goodie

on my mind

Totally stolen from Beckbot's blog
--
On My Bedside Table:
cup of undrank water
Outrageous! The Charles Barkley story
Naked by David Sedaris
Born Standing Up by Steve Martin
New Kings of Nonfiction
lotion
sore throat lozenge wrappers that I inevitably use as bookmarks

Latest Interests:
old James Bond movies
sewing on my new sewing machine!

On My Mind:
running marathons
working on my business

Learning:
sewing (Ok I haven't sewn anything yet but I want to!)

[Thinking about] Making:
floor pillows for Tony
little purse
tilapia with white sauce made of neufchatel

Looking Forward To:
Shanna's 1992 prom night
April trip to Boston

Enjoying:
Daily Show now that we have cable
tamales

Amused By:
Tony, who always makes me smile

It's done!

Today I crossed the finish line for my second half-marathon, this time in Phoenix. I cut about 20 minutes off my original time (still one of the slowest of the people I know - ask me if I care) and had a pretty good time the whole way.

It was sunny, but not too hot. Came off with a little sunburn. Also feeling a LOT of soreness in my hips (who knew that you have to use your hips for so much?) which means I'm hobbling around like an old woman. And some overall tiredness. I've been fighting off a cold for two days, and now I'm scared that since the race is over it will wash over me with a vengeance. Stay tuned for an "I'm sick!" blog in the next couple days.

Overall, another great experience. One of the things I was talking to my sister Amy (time 1:43 because she is a rockstar) about was the urge to cry when you cross the finish line. We decided that it's not so much that you conquered the impossible - since thousands of people finished the race. It's more that you have been aching and blistering and burning for two hours or so, suppressing the urge to slow down or give up. And when you see the finish line and you know that you conquered the urge to quit, it's just too much and you kind of choke up. Even watching the finish line at a marathon can be very emotional when you see people near the end.

Though I may take it easy for a couple weeks here, I think I'm still aiming for a full marathon on June 1 in San Diego. You all are invited!

calibrate good times

So I just realized that my iPod Nike+ hadn't been calibrated this entire time. That means when it told me I ran 4 miles, I actually ran about 3.75.

It also means I'm an ol slow poke, just as I suspected.

Countdown to half marathon: 5 days

Looks like mom's gettin a box of Omaha steaks!

Diamond Auto Glass has a commercial out right now where some kids are playing baseball and it hits a windshield. The gimmick is that with a new windshield you get a box of Omaha steaks. Aside: Is it weird to be getting meat from your windshield guy? I guess the only meat I associate with windshields is road kill.

Anyhoo, it reminded me of a time when Dallace and I were playing softball in our backyard and we sent one right through a kitchen window. No adults heard it, so we just took the softball from where it had lodged itself and went to the front yard.

Later my mom found out somehow - did we tell her? can't remember - and got so mad at us for just taking the ball out and continuing to play. I felt pretty sheepish, but on the other hand I didn't really see any reason to stop playing. Minor setback, right?

The Magnificat

My soul doth magnify the Lord / and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
For he hath regarded / the lowliness of his handmaiden.
For behold, from henceforth / all generations shall call me blessed.
For he that is mighty hath magnified me / and holy is his Name.
And his mercy is on them that fear him / throughout all generations.
He hath shewed strength with his arm / he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He hath put down the mighty from their seat / and hath exalted the humble and meek.
He hath filled the hungry with good things / and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He remembering his mercy hath holpen his servant Israel / as he promised to our forefathers, Abraham and his seed for ever.

Christmas I hardly knew ye

I find it so sad that Christmas has already come and gone. I'm not even sick of it yet. In fact, I was just really getting into the Christmas spirit. I was wildly blessed by some generous elves this year, which of course made me really happy. I also like the gifts I gave, including a scrapbook for a certain F Minus artist, a recording I made for my nephew of a curious George book and a gift wrapping bin that I was eyeing jealously the whole time I put it together.

whatever Target cashier

Every time I go to a store, I try to use the least amount of bags possible. If I'm buying a book, I don't need a bag. Orange? no bag. You get the picture.

The other night I bought some stuff at Target and I tried to tell the cashier I only wanted two bags. But she INSISTED I take three.

She said - why does it matter?
I said - I'm trying to save the planet. It matters.
She said - just reuse them. use it as a trash liner
I said - that would be fine, if I had 600 trash cans, but I don't. I have too many bags already at home.

...and she hands me my third bag. screw you target cashier.

Personal Best!

So tonight was supposed to be an 8 mile run, but I didn't plan for it and got started too late.

Instead, I decided to go for 3 miles, and ended up running a personal best! It was so exciting. I've never run that fast before, and it felt so good, despite it being really cold and close to 11:30 pm.

And I have to say that I love having the nike ipod+, which gives me little messages of encouragement through my headphones, like congratulating me on my run.

Pet peeve

Cold bread.

Attention restaurants: no one likes cold bread. stop serving it. it's hard to put butter on it and it never tastes as good. So throw it in a warmer or something, huh? One repeat offender is California Pizza Kitchen. Another was a place I visited in DC tonight called Pesce, which had cold bread and small portions.

Anyone else got some pet peeves out there?

Sixer

So I finished the sixer tonight. Now I'm icing my feet with some frozen spinach. It's not as gross as it sounds.

PS, if you haven't caught on yet, this forum is going to be part of my motivation for the Half Marathon Jan 13. 13.1 or bust! That's a pit stop on the way to the full marathon in June, when I turn 25.

And I would be absolutely remiss if I didn't acknowledge my coaches/bike posse: Camilla, my sister, and Tony, my boyfriend. They come with me on my long runs and keep me going strong. How will this play out on race day? Well, let's hope it works out.

Finally, I'm always looking for new iTunes to rock my workout. Please suggest your faves!

Worst pickup line ever

A few years ago I worked at a restaurant that had a fairly young staff. Naturally, the inter-kitchen dating was rampant, but the absolute worst line I heard was this:

Another server asked me out. I told him I have a boyfriend. His question?

"Are you interested in any sidework?"

If you are unfamiliar with the term, sidework refers to the little chores everyone is assigned to do before they leave, like refilling salt shakers or ketchup bottles.

So he was asking me if I wanted to cheat on my boyfriend in the same manner that I might mop the floor. Hot.

What are the worst lines you have ACTUALLY heard?