Can we use the vacuum for this?

Today an electrician came to the house to look at installing motion sensor lights. He brought his little boy with him. He was about 9.

I tried to be hospitable: I gave the kid Capri Sun and some fruit snacks. (Just ignore for a minute the fact that I already had this stuff in my cupboards and eat like a preschooler.)

By the time the two were leaving, the little boy was complaining that he didn't feel too good.

He was right.

He threw up in my doorway.....and my carpet....and my walls....and some of my picture frames.

Tonight on 24

A few days ago I turned 24, an age I consider respectable. Non-respectable ages include 11, 15 and 19. I realized I've had this blog just over a year, and last year I went through a few things as I turned 23 (semi respectable). So I guess I'll turn it into an annual tradition.

Things I've accomplished since June 2, 2006:
- moved into my own house
- dropped a dishwasher off at Goodwill even though it still had some water in it
- ran a half marathon in San Diego
- bought a newER car. My first SUV. Look out environment!
- rode a horse in a parade
- survived a midnight break-in at said house

Things I'd like to accomplish in the coming year:
- move closer to being debt free
- nourish the memoir-writing business I'm starting with my friend
- publish at least three freelance articles
- win a journalism award
- get a passport
- run another half marathon, possibly a full
- become more spiritual

If anyone has any more suggestions of things I should/should not do in the coming year, please comment!

Me encanta la musica latina

Lately I've been loving Latin music, including artists like Juanes, Shakira, Nelly Furtado and Bebe. I have my friend Amanda to thank for this - she burned me a rockin CD. Although I guess Bebe is from Spain - does that count as Latin? I say yes.

I also realized in the past year or so that technically I am a quarter Mexican. Not Hispanic. But Mexican. My grandmother was born in Mexico and maintains dual citizenship. So boom - I could've had so many more scholarships. I'll keep it in mind for grad school. Then they will take one look at me and send me back to WASP-ville.

the irony

I was looking for a nutrition book at Changing Hands the other day and noticed they put all the diet books next to the cook books. Sadistic.

Albuquerque is for spellers

I stole this from my sister's blog. It's awesome! You can type in whatever you want and it becomes a sign:
http://www.redkid.net/generator/roosevelt/
Click this and scroll down.

Bad Car-ma

I just had to leave my car in a Target parking lot overnight, causing waves of stress and grouchiness. Luckily, it only meant buying a new battery, which is under 100 bucks and easy to install. It also inspired me to look for a "Basics in Car Repair" class, because I'm just about the most clueless person on the planet when it comes to cars. I've never even checked my oil. But on the plus side, I have a very good relationship with my mechanic!

Sometimes I imagine myself buying all the right tools and spending a couple hours on a Saturday morning tinkering with my car, alone with my thoughts, Hank Hill style. Then I think about shopping at IKEA instead, and just dropping off the car to let someone else do it. And it sounds a lot better.

Cupcake fever

Today I spent $10 on two cupcakes and a bottle of milk. The cupcake WAS pretty delicious, but worth $3.25? Prob not. Apparently cupcakes are all the rage now. There are going to be 3 in Scottsdale alone. The verdict is in: cupcakes are the new gelato.

Jury Doodie

First time at jury duty. So far nothing has happened except I'm sitting in a room full of slightly annoyed people. And the cafeteria is in another building or something, and requires another pass through security to get back. No juice for me I suppose. Oh, now we're watching a movie about jury duty. I'll check back in later.

Update:

Well, after sitting the entire morning without being called, I finally joined a group after lunch. It had something to do with guns, and apparently I'm not the gun-lovin type so I didn't get picked. However, I DID get to sit all day in a government building on my precious day off. The system works.

Ways to spend your Saturday

Things I'm excited for:
Trip to Orlando in two weeks
My birthday June 2. I'll be 24. A good age I think.
The new Batman movie, though it won't be out for a while.
Adding egg to pizza
Summer camping trips

Things I'm not excited for:
Jury duty on Monday. My first time. I predict it will be a big waste of 6-8 hours
Summer heat that makes it so I can't roll down the window.
Cleaning out the litter box
HOA fees kicking in soon

Grumpy Old Men

Last night I had two run ins with grumpy old men, or GOM. The first occurred at a gelato shop, when a GOM in a fancy grey suit cut in front of hordes of people to order in front of us. He was rebuffed by his fancy old wife. Yet, just seconds later, he tried to cut us in line again at the cashier, and gave us the evil eye as we blocked his maneuver.

The second entanglement occurred at a bridge. This time the GOM was guarding the pathway, like a fairy tale troll, and tried to convince me that the bridge had been closed for two months. Actually he said it like this: "Sweetheart, I work here every night!" And I tried to explain to him that I had crossed the bridge just the previous week. I left in a huff, angry that I didn't have the right password for the ol troll and that he called me "Sweetheart".

Elbow grease

We installed moulding today - which was pretty simple but time-consuming. And I love the way it's turned out! Home repair is fun! And expensive!

Community College non-credit courses

All class titles are real. Descriptions...not so much

AARP Driver Safety Program: Basics in sitting at green lights, leaving the blinker on and achieving that "Fresh from 1961" smell
Crystal Healing Power: See also Make Money Selling Rocks
Makeup: The Tammy Faye Bakker method
Be a Modern Nomad: Will need backpack, compass, trust fund
Who's walking around in your head: Seriously. Who?
Family Violence: Via satellite from cell block D
Get Funny!: Or else
Where does all my money go?: Class fees $475
The magic of hypnosis: See also Filing Your Small Claim
Wow, What a Great Event!: Planning your own funeral

* http://www.mc.maricopa.edu/schedules/noncredit.html

4 Things You will Learn Today

* I just bought the soundtrack to "Romeo and Juliet." No, not the black and white one you watched at McClintock High in Benvenuti's class. The one with Leonardo DiCaprio. The CD sort of takes me back to my junior high days, so very full of angst and wishing I looked like Claire Danes.

* Did I ever tell you I always wanted to be a ballerina? I was the only one of my sisters who didn't get to do it. But I did play soccer, which is how I broke two pairs of identical glasses. In identical ways: hit in the face with a soccer ball. Good bye soccer. Hello band.

* I still have my trumpet. Sometimes I wonder how I could get hired to play at churches and weddings and make thousands. Then I remember that there are some people out there who are actually talented or professionals.

* I just finished "Nickel and Dimed," by an author who spent months in different "American" jobs: waitressing, maid for hire, Wal-Mart associate. It's a little depressing. I think my next book should be more whimsical. Oh yeah, I'm reading "Spook: Science tackles the afterlife." That's pretty whimsical.

Mr. and Mrs. Lindsay Butler

Lately I've been getting a lot of mail addressed to Mr. Lindsay Butler. I guess I could go on and on about how cruel it is that they assume the name on the deed must belong to a man, but instead I'll just post a picture of the REAL Mr. Lindsay Butler. You hear that, Discover Card? Get it right!

Can you put a cat on a leash?

Short answer: Yes, but it's not very successful.
Since I moved into my condo, I have asked my cat Merriweather (pictured above on her 4th birthday) to move in with me. She no longer has a backyard to play in, but I try to let her go outside once in a while. The challenge is not losing her, and past attempts have meant chasing her around the complex as she darts from car to car to hide underneath. So, natch I thought I could solve the problem by using a leash. I pictured her tied to a tree, lazily rolling in the grass, enjoying her controlled freedom.
Well, it didn't exactly turn out that way.
She fights against the leash and always manages to tangle herself up in some way that almost chokes her to death. Today I found her perched on top of some horribly scratchy bush, her zebra-striped leash wound around all the branches. And of course, the Canadian neighbor next door was watching the whole time.
At this point, I'm not exactly sure what to do. I hate to leave her cooped up in my 1-bed condo, but I can't have her running around all over tarnation.
Maybe I could just get the neighbor to move.

Just call me wheels

Well my old car - the Batmobile - sort of ran out of life. So I got a new (to me) car. It's a CR-V, and I seriously never thought I would be one of those SUV girls. Let me explain: Every time someone is cutting me off or doing something stupid on the road, it always seems to be a woman in an SUV on her cell phone. And I hate them! But when I got in this car, I felt a little fun! It was up high, it was peppy, and it felt safe. So I got it, and to celebrate I went to Starbucks the next morning......and promptly spilled in my car and backed into a fence. But at least I wasn't on my phone. I only save that for the freeway.

Beauty and the Geek

Although this is another in a slew of ridiculous reality shows, I recently have become hooked on the show "Beauty and the Geek." For the uninformed, it pairs a group of "beauties" with a group of "geeks" and they have to compete in contests that do not appeal to their most natural abilities. For example, in one episode the women were challenged to find a library book. They were terrible. And the men then had to get a stranger to rub sunblock on their backs. Oh the antics that ensued!

At any rate, I think I like the show because I have always been a sucker for nerdy guys, since they usually are also genuinely nice and caring. And I can only hope that my children also are geeks, for though junior high will almost kill them, they will turn out to be some of the best people in the world.

I also included a picture of me and Tony as beauty and the geek. You decide, America!

Black is back

Guess what? Black nail polish is fashionable. I know! Weird!

I put some on, and I have to admit it feels strange. I haven't worn black nail polish since I was, oh, 11. And it wasn't because it was cool, no sirree.

But apparently now it's OK to wear black - it doesn't mean you're goth anymore! But there are rules. This isn't Nam. You have to keep your nails short. And it doesn't have to be just black - dark brown or maroon are OK, too.

Black (polish) power!

Ho ho hum

This year's Christmas season was sort of mixed for me. I was looking forward to Christmas like I always do, but I never really got the butterflies in my stomach or felt the magic -- even on Christmas Eve. Is that an adult thing? The weight of the world becomes so heavy that you focus more on how much it's going to cost, or worrying that you didn't get enough presents for your nephew to open? When I was little I used to get so excited on Christmas Eve I would eat way too much and throw up. I threw up three years in a row! Now I'm a little better at controlling my portions (although I think I'm still working off that "baby" fat), so I haven't vomited in a while. I also used to be the first one up, rousing everyone out of bed so we could get the party started. One year I woke up at 1 a.m. and tried to wake up my brother, Dallace. I played out in my mind how my mom would tell our neighbors that crazy ol Lindsay woke us all up in the middle of the night and we had Christmas PRETTY early. Well, that plan didn't really work. No one wanted to get up -- Dallace just rolled over again. And I eventually went back to sleep.

These days I cover my face with a pillow and pray for a few more minutes, then I get grumpy with everyone for not starting Christmas fast enough so I could go to work. Where did my Christmas spirit go? Do I need to go work at a soup kitchen or something to remember what it's like to feel peace and joy? Do I need to make all my presents by hand to make them more meaningful? What's the secret, Santa?

A bicycle built for one

Yesterday I saw a middle-aged couple/possibly retired riding their bikes together in Tempe. And I began to wonder why so many people - myself included - get joy out of riding a bike. I decided it's a number of things: 1) since so many people learn to ride in their childhood, it reminds them of being a kid. 2) the open air whooshing by is so much more enjoyable than the one you feel walking or driving, and 3) you get to see so many things up close that you normally miss if you usually drive.

I have a bike, but I don't go out as often as I'd like. It's red, with an automatic transmission, which means it changes gears for me. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. I am part of a Tempe bike gang called BONES. Maybe you've heard of it? Bikers of the Night East Side? No? OK. Anyway, we go on rides to freak out the establishment. It's pretty rad. My code name is Lady Death, and when I go on BONES rides I bring along a little skeleton lady I got at Target.

As far as the helmet issue goes, here's my thoughts: I probably should wear a helmet, and maybe one of these days I'll break down and buy one. But the problem is that the only helmets available for purchase are very unattractive, and though they are good for safety, not good for coolness. Someone should design a bike helmet with some style! I'll accept designs and choose a winner.